So, I should make it clear that I never actually gatecrashed the wedding. It just felt like I did! I received an official invitation, but I miscalculated spectacularly. I knew that I had misjudged the whole thing, just the minute I walked into the church and saw the hats. The church was a hat ocean and I… was hatless. My outfit was smart and elegant, but it was definitely inferior. This became clear to me, when the sixth person mistook me for the event planner and asked me about the seating plan. I might have gotten away with the bland outfit, had it been the blandest in a series of outfits, which became more ornate as the evening progressed. I hadn’t realised that, as a close family member, I would need different ensembles for the reception and the church ceremony and the bit between the church and the reception, or maybe it was for the part after the reception…(Oh my gosh!, I think I may have messed up even after 1am, which means two days of misjudgement, instead of just one).
My husband failed to notice that I felt out of place. All hats apparently look the same to him, even the invisible hat that I was definitely not wearing. Luckily, my husband had bought the gift. There is a ranking system. I can’t explain it here, it is just too complicated, but just know that it exists and if you ever get invited to an Armenian wedding, pay close attention to gift giving protocol.
Everyone was very gracious and told me I looked lovely. Too bad I felt like Cinderella, but without the pumpkin coach to whisk me home. I wouldn’t have needed the coach anyway, as I could easily have just rolled down the street, after the all the pastries I ate. These people do their feasting, just as seriously as they do their hats and gifts. With hindsight, I wished I had worn a hat, as it would have been the only thing that still fitted me when the clock struck midnight.
My first Armenian wedding was spectacular. I loved it. I felt sad when we had to go home, but then my husband told me that the Christenings are even better. I am off to buy that hat!
How to Gatecrash an Armenian Wedding
